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FIRST EDITION | MONDAY 18th JANUARY | ||||||||
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A Vision The Right Reverend Davis Greece flourishes his brain |
 Rt. Rev. Davis Greece: "prophecy" |
The smell of gunpowder mixed with flesh will fill the air. The beige flags will proclaim his majesty. All will hear his unyielding words, yelping with delight at his every word, unequivocally raising their cries to hail him.
They will call him Ungulatus Pantus Maximus; he is lord and master. The heads of world leaders, spiked on his motorised cavalcade; the crowd screaming their adulation for the commander. Kofi Annan's withered maw, dragged into a rictus grin at the Leader's order, impaled on the aerial of the primary Capri.
It had come swiftly, a world in chaos delivered overnight by the mercurial precise attacks of his elite troops. The Men Who Might Be Giants stood no chance as his supreme will destroyed them and their governments in a few short hours. His people knew he would prevail, they did not once question his purpose, it was this alone which saw him triumph that bloody night. The meagre opposition eventually collapsed, unworthy to resist him. By dawn nobody in the red-stained cities disputed his supremacy.
The final throes of the Justin Fashanu crisis created unrest throughout the civilised world. Trust in all government authority evaporated and the rioting began. The world needed a man of potency; not just of genius but of messianic stature. No-one knew whence he came; any who did could not say. It is supposed that in his youth he ordered the death of his parents so that they could not be used against him, and that he restrained from the pleasures of the flesh so that no offspring could weaken his iron resolve. His exacting mind suggests a sparkling education yet no authority claims to have taught him.
His rule will be just but terrifying; even the slightest resistance to his cause will be met with full rectitude. His engineers in their neon labs will conceive his robot army, his scientists create the means to escape the Earth and his generals prepare to conquer worlds.
His limitless compassion has reshaped the African land mass into his own visage while Australasia was sunk to carry the world's criminals from the sight of Man. The races of true humanity for the first time possessed real equality, and the Finn was made the slave of all. His Commissions, elite Focus Groups and Working Parties swooped on every corner of the planet, scourging fat chicks and the hateful mullet. Praise be for the Revolution - it will not be televised.