In accordance with the Leader's ideals I have brought together a list of what I shall be doing to make the former Birmingham the greatest of his Unit-states.
Definitely no fat chicks. This also applies to women with excessive facial hair; birds who smell funny; bitches who don't put out; and hos with huge asses. These mingers will be fatally stabbed.
Prohibition of mullet-related activity. Although not rife in WM1 it is still a capital offence. Any foreigners mulletting in my Unit will also be hung. Bad hair of all descriptions will be fined; gingerness will be erased through DNA injections.
The Unit is run for the Leader by me. All power is mine, everything is under my control. If you disagree you will be shot.
If you can't speak fluent English you are either deported or drowned. If you don't understand what I am saying you will be drowned also.
Longbridge is to be converted into a Capri factory. Let it not be said I am unbenevolent: every man in WM1 will be commissioned a Capri of their chosen beige. All women must give up driving or be burned at the stake.
The factory workers will be Finns. If there are not enough, Latvians will be painted to look like Finns and put to work. If they refuse they will be electrocuted.
The brother man will live a luxury life as either ministers in the church of our Leader or musicians. Their women will live in hives and not give their children ridiculous names. If a child is found with a ridiculous name, guillotine will end its parents' life.
All information relating to you will be placed in the Leader's card index; all other copies will be destroyed. Anyone harbouring information will be tarred, feathered and dropped from the Rotunda onto the Rock of Our Leader.
All shops will sell pornography. Any shop-owner whose shop runs out or who does not stock it will be fed to my Manimals.
The police will be retrained as vagrants. They will be replaced with the Leader's robot army who answer to me and the Leader. Any policemen found without a dog on a string will be stoned to death by infants or devoured by ants, according to rank.
Anne from Neighbours will be elected my Commissarette.
