FIFTH EDITION MONDAY 15th FEBRUARY
MORNING FIST
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Karl Marx
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The Rev’s Update

From now on I shall be bringing you a weekly update on my attempts to bring about the revolution from within, yes ladies and gentlemen, the Reverend is standing to become a member of the House of Lords. So far I have no idea at all about how to go about this, but rest assured, with a lot of probing I will find out. If elected I will do my utmost to bring about the Leader’s manifesto and bring the Morning Fist to as many homes as possible with a government grant. Other policies will include giving a large amount of money to me and the giving of an even larger title to me ( Lord Right Reverend Davis Greece M.F. F.U. is just so catchy). I also intend to stage a demonstration in Birmingham town centre complaining about the lack of justice around at the moment. Details of times and numbers are sketchy, but fear not, the Leader’s will is coming.
I am a very popular man in WM1, in a recent poll I came second in a “People’ s Favourite Person Ever” survey, far behind our Leader. Of course the people who voted for me not the Leader were shot, but it shows their commitment. My porn factories are constantly turning out quality magazines and videos; indeed our first “Dirty Nympho Japanese Schoolgirls” has been at number one for the last three months, and the sequel “Horny Lesbo Japanese Collegebabes” looks set to beat it’s prequel.
Image is nothing, the Leader is everything, obey the Leader.

Rev’s Review

Yesterday I put on my hard-hat and headed to what was once Villa Park to see how the construction of The Leader Dome was coming. This towering juggernaut of a building will stand over two kilometres high, with a five kilometre diameter and be made of one continuous piece of Leaderarium (a beige alloy developed in the name of the Leader). Over five hundred people have given their lives to make this building so far, and many others are expected in the future; as it’s main feature is “The fountain Of Humanity”, which requires several thousand litres of human blood. When you enter the dome you are literally shot from a cannon into the gaping starfish of a gargantuan arse. From here you are taken on a tour of the different themed areas. So far only the Intestine of Justice and the Colon of revolution are up and running. From here people will enter the Gut of Pornography before being driven to the Pancreas Where All Things Are Capri Shaped. Finally after a spin through the Liver Of The Leader, they are spewed out of a large replica of the Leader’s mouth, landing on a pile of soft cushions. Leader World carries on from here. There is a giant arcade where you can play such games as Capri Racer 2000. A giant public executions gallery spans the left side of the dome, where T.V. screens show hilarious out-takes of previous executions and famous executions are replayed. Indeed if you can actually shop a Finn before you come, you will be offered the choice of execution style and front row seats!! The huge IMAX cinema will show a large variety of films, but the opening film will be the Leader’s glorious rise to power, showing him crushing infidels and Zionists. The final section is enclosed inside a giant breast (grown in an equally large giant test-tube) and will show the history of porn throughout the ages, as well as having large numbers of enclosed “Whacking Areas” if you feel the need. Finally you are subdermally tagged so the Leader knows you have visited his special place and can track you at all times.

I spoke to the man in charge of the Dome’s construction Isiah “Dirty Liar” Rankin. He informed me that construction was way ahead of schedule and could be completed in time for the Leader’s Inauguration Celebration next year. He also informed me that with the Leader’s brilliant construction plans and having regular supplies of totty walk by for the workers to leer at increased productivity by 78% He did however warn me that the cannon into the starfish would have to be removed as they could not make it big enough to fire the expected quantity of people; it now looks like a travellator will be used instead. An interesting addition he mentioned will be a gladiator ring in the Intestine Of Justice where people can take part in trials by combat to prove their innocence. The Humanitarian Minister said of this “Fuckin’ A man, if they’re guilty, they’ll bleed!” I was actually offered a job as chief Judicial Champion of the Leader, but had to refuse as my ministerial duties take up too much of my time. All monies raised by the dome will go to the Leader.

Can you smell what Pete is cooking? Can I see a doctor? Vote Rev, Vote Revolution