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January Purge
Following the discovery of traitors within the Fist itself, the Leader reminded the party of the need for constant vigilance, saying "The closer we get to victory, the harder the struggle becomes." This warning comes at the end of a turbulent week.

Mendelsin, the Commissar for Propaganda and an old friend of the Leader's has gone. He was found to have accepted a loan from a bank with capitalist connections. Although he was a personal friend, the Leader had to order his execution. However, speculation is rife that this is only temporary, and Mendelsin will be back in government soon, possibly embalmed.

The Secretary of Secretaries was also arrested at the beginning of the week. He issued this statement yesterday:
"I am guilty of conspiring with the Finn. I confess to having committed acts of sabotage and treason against the people and the party for my capitalist masters."
To ensure a fair trial, the Leader himself acted as defence counsel, but the evidence against him was damning. The jury (composed of the Leader) returned a unanimous guilty verdict, and the Leader as judge sentenced him to the death he clearly deserved.
The Fist has had him hung drawn and quartered. His remains were then sacked and fed to the office gerbils. In an act of remorse, he did name his fellow conspirators: General Boris Tanksin, General Vladimir Porksandvich, and John the theatre critic.
These enemies of the people have all been killed without a pension.
Before their execution they issued a joint confession to "betraying the Leader for personal gain, working for the imperialist-capitalist bloc and failing to buy our share of rounds in the bar."
Also gone are the Chairman for Typesetting, the Commissar for Making Tea and the janitor, because once you start a purge, it's hard to stop. However, the Fist is the first to admit that we got carried away and made a mistake. We send our condolences and a free Morning Fist T-shirt to their loved ones.

All these people have been slashed:

Director of Publishing Terrorism; sold Fist stationery to Finland

Minnie Pemberton, Area Coordinator of the Young Fisters; picked nose during Leader's speech

Doherty, Commissar for Radical Ambiguity; corrupted by contact with Pemberton.

Inform quickly, the January purge is almost over!

Job Opportunities at the Fist Morning Fist has a number of vacant positions and invites applications from all loyal Party members.