From now on I shall be bringing you a weekly update on my attempts to bring
about the revolution from within, yes ladies and gentlemen, the Reverend is
standing to become a member of the House of Lords. So far I have no idea at
all about how to go about this, but rest assured, with a lot of probing I
will find out. If elected I will do my utmost to bring about the Leader�s
manifesto and bring the Morning Fist to as many homes as possible with a
government grant. Other policies will include giving a large amount of money
to me and the giving of an even larger title to me ( Lord Right Reverend
Davis Greece M.F. F.U. is just so catchy). I also intend to stage a
demonstration in Birmingham town centre complaining about the lack of
justice around at the moment. Details of times and numbers are sketchy, but
fear not, the Leader�s will is coming.
I am a very popular man in WM1, in a recent poll I came second in a �People�
s Favourite Person Ever� survey, far behind our Leader. Of course the people
who voted for me not the Leader were shot, but it shows their commitment. My
porn factories are constantly turning out quality magazines and videos;
indeed our first �Dirty Nympho Japanese Schoolgirls� has been at number one
for the last three months, and the sequel �Horny Lesbo Japanese
Collegebabes� looks set to beat it�s prequel.
Image is nothing, the Leader is everything, obey the Leader.
Rev�s Review
Yesterday I put on my hard-hat and headed to what was once Villa Park to see
how the construction of The Leader Dome was coming. This towering juggernaut
of a building will stand over two kilometres high, with a five kilometre
diameter and be made of one continuous piece of Leaderarium (a beige alloy
developed in the name of the Leader). Over five hundred people have given
their lives to make this building so far, and many others are expected in
the future; as it�s main feature is �The fountain Of Humanity�, which
requires several thousand litres of human blood. When you enter the dome you
are literally shot from a cannon into the gaping starfish of a gargantuan
arse. From here you are taken on a tour of the different themed areas. So
far only the Intestine of Justice and the Colon of revolution are up and
running. From here people will enter the Gut of Pornography before being
driven to the Pancreas Where All Things Are Capri Shaped. Finally after a
spin through the Liver Of The Leader, they are spewed out of a large replica
of the Leader�s mouth, landing on a pile of soft cushions. Leader World
carries on from here. There is a giant arcade where you can play such games
as Capri Racer 2000. A giant public executions gallery spans the left side of the dome, where T.V. screens show hilarious out-takes of previous executions and famous executions are replayed. Indeed if you can actually shop a Finn
before you come, you will be offered the choice of execution style and front
row seats!! The huge IMAX cinema will show a large variety of films, but the
opening film will be the Leader�s glorious rise to power, showing him
crushing infidels and Zionists. The final section is enclosed inside a giant breast (grown in an equally large giant test-tube) and will show the history of porn throughout the ages, as well as having large numbers of enclosed �Whacking Areas� if you feel the need. Finally you are subdermally tagged so the Leader knows you have visited his special place and can track you at all
times.
I spoke to the man in charge of the Dome�s construction Isiah �Dirty Liar�
Rankin. He informed me that construction was way ahead of schedule and could
be completed in time for the Leader�s Inauguration Celebration next year. He
also informed me that with the Leader�s brilliant construction plans and
having regular supplies of totty walk by for the workers to leer at
increased productivity by 78% He did however warn me that the cannon into
the starfish would have to be removed as they could not make it big enough
to fire the expected quantity of people; it now looks like a travellator
will be used instead. An interesting addition he mentioned will be a
gladiator ring in the Intestine Of Justice where people can take part in
trials by combat to prove their innocence. The Humanitarian Minister said of
this �Fuckin� A man, if they�re guilty, they�ll bleed!� I was actually
offered a job as chief Judicial Champion of the Leader, but had to refuse as
my ministerial duties take up too much of my time. All monies raised by the
dome will go to the Leader.
Can you smell what Pete is cooking?
Can I see a doctor?
Vote Rev, Vote Revolution
