THIRD EDITION MONDAY 1st FEBRUARY
MORNING FIST
Leader leader January Purge Page 3 Pinup Peace In Our Time? The New Literature The Fist Fingers...
Tom Hanks		 The Need for Porn Birmingham Update How can I fight?
 


Continued from last week

The Struggle For Birmingham The Reverend's outlandish ravings persist...

Rt. Rev. Davis Greece: praying to Saint Dick    

The voice pierced the silence like an AP round through a Finn: "Manimals you have finally met your match!".

The Five leapt out in front of us: Gemmus, Katia, Fearnor, Hail-e and their leader Oldham X - collectively known as the Highly Irritating Mega Sluts. Before we could react they ran the fifty yards towards us, sang a song about gypsies and joined together to form UltraStupidMaretm. Nedian screamed like a girl and ran for cover, Jaffar reeled; Scattman was playing with an immense Ball Of Twine. Screaming for Our Leader the Walrus Boys and I were plunged into a vicious melee which could only end in stalemate. We needed a plan to separate them; the moustaches would only repulse them so long and our team was scattered. Then our saviour arrived. In a haze of nicotineDaddyjukes burst through the wall. His steel stetsons booted the UltraStupidMaretm into its component Bitches. His John Wayne voice drawled like thunder. "Get the Head Bitch, leave these animals to me". We left the Smirking One to crush the Bitches, knowing he would have them on their knees making like circus seals in minutes.

We found the Head Bitch in her control room, lounging in the Mastermind chair and stroking her pussy. "So, The Leader is trying to take over the world and he wants my help, does he?"

I looked at her quizzically, "No, you stupid Bitch, he wants you dead".

"So long he has tried to court my favour, and every time he has failed".

"Listen Bitch, I think you're confusing him with someone else. This is his first Revolution".

"Is it, my tiny friend, is it?"

Without waiting for a reply she rippled out of her skin, insectoid carapace and fiendish spikes grew from her. She had become the Bitch Queen Hyper Saranoid Ellioboobus!