The Leader stepped into the ongoing public health crisis this week by calling for genetically- modified foods to demonstrate their Revolutionary credentials. Corrupt world governments have abandoned their last semblance of concern for life and delivered the People into the hands of evil scientists. It is up to the Revolution to expose their criminal hate.
The Morning Fist has, in months of journalist sleuthing, compiled a dossier of the companies producing Evil Food. This has been submitted to The Leader's office, and action has already been taken.
First, let us acquaint you with three normal children. Bernard, Kwame and Foet-ro were just kids, playing innocently under the benevolent gaze of The Leader's sun. Their loyalty to the Revolution was unquestioned; all were members of the Young Fisters and had little or nothing to fear from on-duty Revolutionary security forces. But the consumption of genetically-modified 'Evil Pork Sticks', marketed by the filthy tech-worshipping cabal of perverts at Monsanto, turned these brave boys into Hare Krishnas. It was with a tear in his eye that this correspondent placed them in the Morning Fist car-crusher, and with a heavy heart cracked them to jam.
Hare Rama Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama
Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Squelch
The Fist says: for God's sake somebody think of the children!
We know. You're outraged, just like we were. But the directors of Monsanto were not quick enough to escape The Leader's justice.
In the small hours of this morning they were rounded up and brought to our Centre of Further Questioning, where they confessed their crimes and finally welcomed their fate, understanding the need for a firm hand.
The Leader shrank them, and they were led away.
Tree impersonation is not accepted in mitigation: Chief Executive Officer miniaturised and smoked.
Second tiny fascist wrapped in money and fed into drink vending machine. Our coffee was dispensed with milk, sugar... And Justice!
We must not lose our faith in technology just because of these bandit necromancer-paedophiles. The Reverend Davis Greece, poised over a toilet bowl during a recent speech, reminded us between mouthfuls of vomit that "Without The Leader's scientific genius, my monkey army would remain thumbless". Too right! And now the Revolution is launching its own brand of genetically-modified foods, which understand the need for final victory as keenly as you or I. Each LeaderPie you eat will not only have been raised free-range in the vast savannah of Ginsterland, but will shriek Revolutionary slogans as you bite into its pastry hide and it dies of teeth. Bon appetit!
Sweet-headed men - How far are we prepared to go?